Things feel very different economically now, even though I know things were worse when I was younger.

When I was younger, I didn't have money, but I didn't have bills, either. So, when I had money, it was time for fun and needed toiletries and skin care stuff. I would buy a used book and have a lunch as a way to relax and pamper myself.

Some years ago, when money was tight, it was tight, but I had a credit card I could use for the occasional meal out, or used book, etc.

Now, I rarely eat out (when i do, it is usually fast food or someone else is buying it for me), I feel stressed about money a lot, my food choices are made more by my budget than what I really want to eat, and I end up feeling anxious a bit....I know that things are not bad for me. I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach and a good job, so I should stop worrying. I just feel more anxious now because much of the credit I have available has a very high interest rate, I have very little savings and i want to reserve it for paying rent, and I am like counting out every single amount...from how many miles I can get per gallon, to how much my necessary toiletries cost and where I can get them cheaper, and just really being fastidious about certain items. Sometimes, when I feel this way, I just want to relax. I want to have a leisurely day where I don't have to worry about a chore that needs to be done. I want to relax like I did years ago where I would make a day of just driving and window shopping and having a nice breakfast or lunch on the open road.

I remember this place I used to go to that had the best scrambled eggs....I haven't been there in ages, and primarily because a breakfast is like 7 or 8 bucks.

I know that during this time I just have to relax and accept that things may not be comfortable for a while. It is just hard for me to be relaxed right now. Right now I want to window shop and try to relax and not always be counting out every cent. I also want to work on how I relate to my friends...when I am in a situation where I am counting out every cent almost, then I don't understand friends that splurge on clothes, or say they are dealing with money issues, but still buy designer duds. And yeah, of course I realize that I am in this predicament because I overspent in prior years, and didn't watch my spending on food, etc.