I have noticed that I have become a bit more sensitive about things that pertain to money....Something that would have been only a bit disappointing a year ago, feel like a much bigger deal now. I think that part of it is because I don't have that buffer in my budget---so if I have an extra expense or overspend on food, then I am effectively impacting something else that is needed. I am not yet where I want to be with managing my budget, but I am seeing more and more how different my spending habits are now from even just a year ago. Now, I am always counting, counting, counting, and thinking about trying to balance my budget. I think this is probably done more than is good for ones stress level, though. But for me I feel like i have to constantly keep on top of it because when I don't think about it for even just a few days and buy fast food here, a burrito there, some coffee over there, then I am suddenly overspent and stressed.
My bf has been really in a better mood lately. He is very encouraging that I have enough food to eat (sometimes I give him more food than I give myself---I am not starving, but it may be that I give him the better food, and I make do when it comes to lunch---a soda and chips for lunch because it is just $1), and he seems more helpful. It makes me happy.
I have been working on dealing with feelings I have about some people I know who try to make me feel like I am less than they are. It doesn't help that these same people are constantly displaying and focusing on how expensive something is that they own or bought or wear. I feel at times that my strength is not apparent to them because I may earn less than they do, or because my appearance may not reflect that I am an intelligent person with a good paying job. I think at times that they just see uneducated when they talk to me, as they make subtle comments that suggest their feeling as such.
Does money take you out of your normal self?
January 15th, 2010 at 03:37 am
January 15th, 2010 at 04:11 am 1263528676
Kosheri is a very filling cheap and tasty Egyptian dish - some pasta mixed with lentils and crispy fried onion on top (add hot sauce). Maybe there are organizations that give food in your area. There is a healthcare cost to not eating nutritional food. Sorry you are feeling so vulnerable. I know it won't be for long because you are facing these issues head on.
January 15th, 2010 at 05:30 am 1263533416
January 15th, 2010 at 01:42 pm 1263562947