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Who Would Have Thought It...

May 8th, 2009 at 08:32 am

Aside from some possible grammar issues with my spelling, I am overwhelmed by the amount of visits my blog is getting.

I have other blogs that I haven't frequented in a while, and when I found this site and the ability to really, well, vent and be open about my finances (as for me, it is sometimes hard to do with family and friends as I don't want to be the kind of person always whining about money), I didn't think many people would read it. I thought it would be more of a cathartic tool for me to use and to help keep me focused on my financial goals. Instead, I got both the cathartic effect, and also more support than I imagined. Smile

Many thanks to those of you who take the time to read the ramblings and thoughts that flow through my head on a daily basis.

I read many of your comments regarding the "Love and Money" entry, and it is hard to explain the desire I have to be a stay at home mom. I really, really, really don't like the idea of letting a stranger raise my children. I also do not have much family support, so it isn't like I have a relative who could watch my child. And yeah, I am as feminist as they come, but ya know what? I still love the idea of love, I love the idea of a traditional family (primarily because I didn't really have it as a kid), and yeah, I do feel that a man (or a woman), should be able to provide for their family. As a strong woman I want to be able to support my family if push comes to shove, and I also want my hubby to be able to support the family as well.

I also have to add that as a child there was a lot of food insecurity as well as money insecurity, and I don't want that for my child. I went through being homeless and it still really messes with my thought patterns to this day.

What I think that would mean is that if I get married and if my hubby makes less than I do, we will just have to work on the savings, and par down expeses, so that we can afford for me to stay home. I am good at cooking cheap food and finding super duper bargains, so, yeah, I do agree that if two people are committed to the same goal, then they can make it happen.

As I mentioned in another entry, there is the issue of complexes. I did grow up seeing the stereotype of the hard working woman with the boyfriend or hubby who didn't work. I remember seeing how beat down the woman looked (emotionally) and I don't want that for myself.

Now, me and my bf are going to have to work through our money issues. I realize I have to back off a bit and let him deal with his stuff on his own. He knows how uptight I am about money, and I have to accept that he does things at his own pace. He isn't some guy that buys too much stuff or calls in sick all the time. So, I need to chill a bit.

I have $17 bucks in my pocket and am not feeling weird about my food budget, thought technically, I only have $25 bucks or so for food for the rest of the month after buying some needed vitamins. I am oddly not stressing about the food as I have some frozen meat and I haven't been eating as much lately either. So, I am feeling okay about it. Smile

6 Responses to “Who Would Have Thought It...”

  1. Broken Arrow Says:

    Hehe, you know, I was the same way when I first came here. I was really surprised how supportive this community turned out to be. So, I figure the least I can do is try to return the favor....

  2. momcents Says:

    As a 40 yo SAHM to five amazing kids (would like more, God willing) I can say that I have seen both sides of the fence. I was a feminist when I got married 20 years ago at the age of 20. Kept my name, had separate accounts, etc. My family of origin was dysfunctional, as well - I was raised by a mother who didn't have many financial resources, yet my biological father was a rich brat who bought us things, but didn't care if we had enough to eat.

    I went through graduate school and got a MS degree and then the maternal instinct kicked in- after eight years of marriage we had our first child and it all changed. I became traditional. Wanted to stay at home and raise the kidd-os. And surprise, I like being home.

    If you and your future spouse are on the same page, it will all work out and everyone can be satisfied. I have a DH who wants an at-home mother for his kids. We watch our money and we can't do it all all of the time, but we do have fun, and are responsible, and it works well for us.

  3. Ima saver Says:

    The only thing I don't like about your blog is that I cannot read your comments, and I don't know why? I can see mine, but not the two above me??

  4. L Saver Says:

    Ima, change the layout (in the upper right corner of the blog) to "Blue and Brown (Default)". That's what worked for me. Although, you probably won't be able to read my comment telling you how to do it?!

  5. whitestripe Says:

    i was the same when i first started a blog here (i have had two previous blogs since one was found by the real world). i couldn't believe how many people were interested in my day to day doings, and how helpful and nice everyone was.
    I am sorry about your childhood growing up - i had a lot of insecurity and trauma growing up as well. it is interesting to see which way people go when they grow up like that - some people take after their dysfunctional parents in most ways (like with money, relationships and attitudes) and others grow up going 'i am NOT going to be like them, ever!' and are the complete opposite of their parents. Smile i know i am the opposite of my mum, anyway!

  6. lizajane Says:

    I highlight the comments to read them. We're all incognito! Smile (And I stick in a smiley because that's the only thing that shows up in the white on white.)

    Anyhow, yes, it's inspiring to know that other people are reading and commenting on our blogs. My big thrill came the other night when I saw that someone on another blog had quoted on one of my posts here. I just found it by accident when I was searching for one of the blogs here that I'd responded to, and up popped somebody's mention of my name in their blog.

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