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Feeling Sad

August 17th, 2009 at 08:36 pm

I have been doing a lot of thinking, and I have to accept that my boyfriend's attempt at speaking with someone else, is a signal that there is something missing in our relationship. I am saddened because I felt that aspect, and I know that perhaps I am not the most carefree person, and I don't really know that with my background I can be carefree about things.

I feel bad because even though I am very hurt, I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I don't want to not be there for him during these hard times. My friends keep telling me that he is a grown man and he will be fine and that I don't need to always be so supportive.

I do hope that he and I can be friends. I am more hurt than angry, but I am also adult enough to know that I did feel like he may want someone that is less serious. He doesn't like the idea of budgeting, and I am doing budgets multiple times a week. He doesn't like planning a weekend, and I like having my weekend planned out at least the Friday before.

I go back and forth from sadness to feeling like this is just a stage in our relationship. Sometimes I feel sad that he told this other person that she is the only one whom he can do certain things with, and other times I feel like he is someone I care about and I think that there is love between us and that we can always be friends. And then there is the fear that I won't find someone who accepts me as much as he does. I am afraid about that, as I have dated people before who made fun of how much I earned and who really made fun of my trying to be better at budgeting. Both people belittled me for coming from a poor background, or for being concerned about having an emergency savings and all of that.

Today was an emotional day. I am feeling sad and blue, and just overwhelmed and stressed. Thank all of you for letting me vent.

I don't know what I am going to do money-wise. part of the deal about my bf moving in was that he would pay a small amount and that would help me with food and the pay cut. But so far it feels like I have been spending more on food and items per month. So I am really hoping that I can get a 2nd job to help pay for things.

My head hurts because of stress and crying. I am sad, and yet, I feel like I kind of knew that maybe I wasn't the best person for my bf.


6 Responses to “Feeling Sad”

  1. shiela Says:

    So sorry for your situation. Take care.

  2. Apprentice Bliss Hunter Says:

    Hey... don't be so hard on yourself... maybe your bf isn't the best person for YOU... (instead of you not being best person for him)....

    You seem to have dated some less-than-desirable people in your past.... don't give up.... and don't settle for a less-than-healthy relationship just because you can't see where the next relationship is coming from at the moment...

    There's plenty more fish in the sea - cliche but true !!

    btw... still can't read any of the responses on your blog - white font on white background I'm guessing ??

  3. whitestripe Says:

    i am sorry for what you are going through. it is often the little things that make or break a relationship, but this does not mean yours will break. both you and him need to put effort into reconnecting again, it is not all your fault, please remember that. he is the one that went to someone else to talk - you will need to find ways to have that together as he does with this other person.
    but you will both have to work at it.

    and about what you said, about not being able to find someone that accepts you as much as he does: sometimes it is better to be by yourself than to be with someone that doesn't make you feel good.

  4. fern Says:

    The replies here don't show up at all. it's just an all white box. Maybe you need to change the ink color.

    If it really seems like you're spending more $ on food and that what he's contributing is not enough, you may need to sit down and tell him that. Be prepared to show him proof in the way of grocery receipts for 2 or 4 weeks.

    I'm sorry it's not working out. It may be that you are just 2 different people, and that you are mismatched.

  5. fern Says:

    The comments are probably not showing up becus you're using white ink against black in your posts, but the replies are in a white background.

  6. Broken Arrow Says:

    I am sorry to hear that. I do think that financial compatibility is an important aspect in any serious relationship. I learned that one the hard way.

    And there is NOTHING wrong with being financially responsible! In fact, both parties have to be on the same page financially for it to last, even if only one person ends up being the one to manage all the finances.

    I don't think you are doing anything wrong in this case, and it's up to him to change his mind. But hopefully, it's not that serious. I hope that the two of you can work through this.

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