I realize that I guess I have money issues.
When I am stressed or happy, I am not so cautious of my spending---now mind you, not being cautious in my world means getting a cup of coffee or buying some needed food that tastes good. It doesn't mean buying a book or buying clothes or dvds for fun.
I started to think about how much I went into my savings this month, and I almost started crying. I added how much I spent on food---shopping at really cheap stores, no whole paycheck for me. And I spent about $300 more on food than I should have...i checked and I spent about $200 on food in the first 2 weeks.
I just don't know what to do....I really don't. I am eating leftovers for lunch, avoiding eating out whenever possible, buying bulk rolls of 24 ct. for $1.50 and having 5 rolls for breakfast (not good for my diet, of course), and just so mad at myself for all of it.
I will also have to speak with my bf. He knows I am having money problems, but so is he, and he isn't good at budgeting (neither am I, it appears, but I do put up a good attempt, I think---at least I write things out--doesn't that count?), and so, the past 2 months he hasn't been contributing what we agreed upon...and it is mainly because he has had family stuff come up. I don't want to stress him out, but I will have to let him know that we are going to have to stick with our agreement if he stays with me...which, due to a crowded situation at his family's house, he may be staying with me. I am okay with that, but I realize that even a couple of trips per week to the cheapo market is still maybe $50 bucks, and that adds up quickly. Sigh.
I feel very sad right now. I am going to look for a part-time job and next month, I am going to fully commit myself to writing down every single thing I buy. And, i am going to use my debit card more---I find that the loose cash is easier for me to change and I forget what I spent it on when I am not writing things down.
I really just feel like crying. And the honest truth is that if I had 3-6 months of cash savings, i wouldn't be worrying about the debt i would have. I would pay it off of course, but not having the savings and not being able to get more credit is really stressing me out.
thank you all for letting me vent. I am not sure I can talk to many people about how i feel. I feel like you all understand some of where I am coming from, and i really appreciate all of your comments (sorry, i can't change the white background without then changing my blog page...and I am not sure if I want to use blue color or yellow color on a black background...I think it may be more difficult to see).
Love you all. 
Money Issues.....
August 28th, 2009 at 01:33 am
August 28th, 2009 at 02:07 am 1251425265
August 28th, 2009 at 02:17 am 1251425831
He is helping me, and I need to let him know I need more help, while at the same time watching what I am buying.
August 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm 1251464166
I do think you are better at this than you might feel right now, but sometimes, it's hard to believe that when you're having a hard time with it, with things stretched out in every which way....
Well, I don't really have any advice or anything, just please feel free to vent this over the blog. It's exactly what the blogs are here for.
Lastly, I still can't see any comments written here, so I have to use default colors.