So, as I sit here waiting for the 20 minutes it takes for my stomach to register that I should be full, I pontificated about the comments on my blog and my perspective of things.
I will wholeheartedly admit that I am human. I am not always right, and yeah, there are plenty of flaws that I have.
I do agree that if I were a kinder person, I would have more empathy for all...regardless of wether or not the complaint is that they can no longer buy Jimmy Choo.
The larger statement that I was trying to make (but not successfully), is that as these times get harder for ALL of us, I find that specific groups, who have very little wiggle room as it is, are being targeted more. That was the whole jist of what I was trying to say. As these times get more difficult (and I blame no one else buy myself for my own situation), I find that people are getting more negative towards the homeless, more negative towards those on welfare, more negative towards this whole suspicion of illegal immigration, first time home buyers swindled by unscrupulous brokers, etc.
This a common occurrence in our history. Whenever our country has hit hard times, it has sought out a scape goat, wether it be immigrants or illegal immigration or unions or the poor.
I have also experienced times when people get focused on the rule of things, and they lose the big picture--that is what made me write my blog about apathy---let me give you an example:
I was eating with a friend and I was VERY, very limited in my budget. This was quality time with my friend, and we were both hungry and I could not respectfully bring in something from the outside to eat.
So, I order items ala carte, as the items were oddly cheaper ala carte, than in a combo situation. About 45 cents cheaper. I kid you not. My bill was under $5 bucks (including the tax), and I tipped $1. My friend thought it was arrogant of me to only tip 1 dollar. I felt that he should think for a second that I am buying far less food than my appetite, and that I am buying things in such a way as to save 45 cents, while still being able to give 15-20% tip. My friend was more focused on what others thought and how we would be perceived, rather than seeing that I am in a situation where I am buying literally the cheapest food item on the menu---regardless of how hungry I am. My friend at the time, was not making hardly any money, and using a lot of credit.
But back to the topic...
So yes, I do agree that when a friend complains of not being able to buy a designer item, I really should have more empathy. I am working towards that. At this point in time, when a friend complains and I cannot relate to their complaint, I find it is better to remain silent, or to nod in agreement, than say something I shouldn't. For other friends whom I have a different repoar with, we can joke around and when they complain about something like not being able to eat a fancy dinner, I do let them know that hungry kids all over the world will get a collection plate for them. They usually laugh and understand where I am coming from.
Food
September 3rd, 2009 at 09:00 pm
September 4th, 2009 at 12:14 am 1252019679
The rest of us were like WTF? She said she thought the waiter had gotten plenty from the rest of us. So what we did was we separated the big pile and each put our tip by our plate. From then on whenever we would eat out with this person we always did this as no matter what she would never tip more than 5% or so.
Why the long story, the next time just make sure you get seperate bills put your tip by your plate that way your co-eater can tip as much as he likes and it is no reflection on him. PS 20% is a fine tip from where I am from so I would not have been embarrased by the $1 tip.
September 4th, 2009 at 03:34 am 1252031663
September 4th, 2009 at 08:19 am 1252048771