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The way I feel.....

September 20th, 2009 at 07:52 pm

Right now things feel a bit overwhelming and out of control. Due to the severity of what he is experiencing, I have gone into some comforting modes that involve money---by buying a comfort filled dinner, etc. It may not be the smartest thing financially, but I feel like with the severity of what he is experiencing, right now is the time for comfort and a bit of indulgence----I am not buying kobe beef or anything like that---just a simple cheap (i.e., non-fast food, but still a chain restaurant) lunch at a sit down restaurant.

Because of what is going on, I know it is not appropriate for me right now to ask for the rest of the money for this month. I will see if he has enough next month. Right now needs to be the focus on his family.

I am feeling unsure about my budget. I did not want to go into next month owing money, but it looks like I will. Frown So I am worried about that. I also had planned on using money this month to get some auto repair work----that didn't happen, so now I am wondering about how will I get some needed work done, when my paycheck will be short?

Everything feels so overwhelming----I feel like I am not in control of my budget. I feel like though I love my boyfriend, he is going through a lot right now, and sometimes I get the feeling like he loves me, but doesn't really like me. I feel like I am not in control of my health. I am also a bit saddened by not being successful in the weight loss.

I may just be being overly worried, but I wonder a lot about my bf and me......I want us to work out, and I also feel like he has a lot on his plate right now, and I am worried about being alone at this point in my life, where I am having a hard time. I worry about being alone. I don't think my bf worries about being alone......and I do think that even if things don't work out, we would always care and love each other.

I am just going to keep on keeping on, that is all that one can do, really. I have to accept that at this point in my life, I may have to live more off of beans, than my favorite comfort food. I may have to just bear down and wait for this time to get better.

On a positive note, my 401k plan went up about $4,000 dollars or so. Woo hoo!!

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