So, last night me and my bf discussed the topic of money. I have learned that with him, I have to chill out a bit, and realize that while I have a general idea of my budgets weeks in advance (I actually write out my budget months at a time---sticking to it is the only problem!), he may not.
So, I was counting out my money and figuring out how I am going to pay a bill that is due, plus pay for the usual stuff like gas, food, etc.
I decided to talk to him about the help I will need, but I realized that with him, I can't get all into the specifics of the dollar amount, because if he doesn't actually have the money at the time, it stresses him out. I did let him know I am short, that I had to borrow from savings, etc., and he agreed to help me. I know I will have to wait until he pays off the bill with his family, but I am hoping he can come through for me. Otherwise, I will have to borrow from savings, and that just sucks. And, yeah, I have been looking for part-time work, and it is hard to find (due to my hours of availability) in my area---also, there are a lot of part-time jobs out there, that are really full-time jobs that have been cut a small amount so they are now considered part-time and without any benefits. They asked for really difficult hours---like 6 hours in the middle of the day, that makes it difficult for a person to get another full-time or part-time job. I am seeing that a lot on the online job offerings, and it is really saddening.
Been having the grrrrrrssss lately. I am trying to get my doctor to help me with it, but they seem reluctant, and what I want to do to help me, includes vitamins and whatnot, and that costs money. Grrrr.
The being slightly broke thing is a bit irritating. I realize that it can cause friction with a friend of mine, and I wish I knew how to be a better person.
My friend is very nice and kind, and a very good person. We have very different definitions of what being poor means, however, and I am a bit saddened that I don't have things in common with him that I used to. He has not been as poor as I was, and he is living the life of an average, upper income 30-something. He may not consider himself upper income, but in my city, there are so many people starting out at such a high figure, that I think their idea of being poor gets really skewed. Sometimes I just feel like he doesn't understand me, and I can't always understand when he rolls his eyes and talks about being poor, but, is always at a boutique or trendy restaurant. I have learned to be quiet about it though and just keep my thoughts to myself.
I am going to start pampering myself more. I really feel like I haven't been looking so great lately, so I am going to focus more on taking nice soapy hot baths, wearing make up more often, and trying to keep up with my mani and pedis, even if I can only afford to do them at home.
My budget is short for next month, and there are things in my budget that I have to buy almost each month, and I am really looking forward to buying them---who would have thought that a person would get excited about being able to buy toilet paper and cleaning supplies? Little touches like a lavender smelling cleaning product on scented air freshener really help to mellow me out.
Being able to tell you all these things really helps me more than I think I can say. It often happens that I am not able to have a deep conversation with a person for a day or more, and sometimes, well, you just need to express yourself, ya know? I am hoping that this form of expression helps to reduce my overall stress levels.
I hope you all are having a good weekend. Hugs.
Discussing money, and eager to shop...
September 28th, 2009 at 02:38 am
September 28th, 2009 at 03:15 am 1254104119
September 28th, 2009 at 03:30 am 1254105028
September 28th, 2009 at 03:58 am 1254106684
September 28th, 2009 at 06:05 pm 1254157500
I also use this time and place to make plans and dreams. It is total self-care that allows me to come out and be better for my people.