So, I have found a new store that I am hoping will help me with my food budget. I went into it yesterday and wanted to buy sooo many things, as it is one of those big box stores, that is a bit better than your average big box store. I can't wait to go back and shop there when I get paid. It even seems like it's meat selection and veggie selection is nice and clean and plentiful.

I also found out that I can take 3 simple ingredients, add a bit of toasting to it, and I have a meal that has this french feel to it (think croque monsieur), and tastes so much better than having the item cold. It really does feel like a treat.

I am looking forward to payday so that I have cash (yay!), but also worried about how I am going to meet my budget this month. I very rarely try to depend on others, but seeing as how my bf owes me a bit, I am really hoping that he will come through and help me, at least for a couple of months until I pay off a couple of bills and have more cash available to me.

I am worried about my diet a bit. These past few days I have been watching my funds, and eating what was cheap and filling, but not necessarily healthy. Sometimes, when I see these ridiculously overpaid people on tv, I wish I had the type of budget where I could go and buy yummy, healthy salads and raw food meals and energy smoothies and skin creams and vitamins. I feel like I would be able to be so much healthier.

I know that I don't need to be rich to make myself salads and smoothies---but, to be honest, protein powder isn't the cheapest, and the average can of protein powder can take up 10% of my monthly food budget!! And that is one of the cheaper brands!!

So, for now I am going to try and use up my previously bought make-up and skin care samples, take tons of baths, borrow books from the library, get cheap things off of ebay, and just try and pamper myself in ways that are cheap. I do know that I don't necessarily need pampering as things aren't hard for me and other people have it far worse. I just use the pampering to help reduce my stress levels.

I also think the stress is messing with my weight. I went through something like this before, years ago, and though I was dieting hard, the weight wasn't coming off. I think I had so much stress at the time (a loved one was very ill), that my body was just going into this weird mode, so while I wasn't gaining, I wasn't losing either.

I am seriously trying to avoid the coffee container I want. My goodness, it seems like it is calling out to me..."Buy me. Buy me. I look so nice. Buuuuuuuuy meeeeee." Seriously. I looked online for it, and people are charging 2 and 3x what it is worth in the stores. Sigh. So, if I buy it, I will have to buy it with cash or credit. But it would be about 15% of my food budget, if I were to buy it. I keep telling myself that after a few weeks, it would just become more junk. Sigh.

I am also thinking that when I feel like this, it is best to not be around super expensive shopping areas, etc. It just doesn't help me mentally, I think. I feel like my city is changing and becoming more high income, so when I come across people who aren't native to my city, and they start raving about some new store or lounge, well, I just have to tune out. It especially irks me when they call neighborhoods by these new trendy names that no native would ever use. Sigh. I feel like my city is so much more than how it is changing. It has this life to it that is not being represented by the increase in trendy cafes that charge waaaaay too much money for SMALL cups of coffee----$3!! and you MAY get a 12 oz cup. Ridiculous. I am glad that I am taking time for myself and taking pics of the parts of my city that I love.