So, I have been thinking about this topic since last night.....When is it okay to ask for something that you want or need for yourself, and when is it appropriate to ignore your needs, in order to help another person?

I was thinking about my bf and I yesterday, and just having some worries. I worry that we have become very close because of all the things that my bf has gone through recently and in the past year or so, and I also feel like while our dependence upon one another has grown, I am not sure about the bf/gf aspect. It is like we haven't had funds or time to put towards our relationship.

I feel really weird about this, because my bf is going through so much right now...things that would be difficult for any person to really have to go through. Some pretty heavy stuff, I think. So I am being supportive. Sometimes, I just feel....tired and overwhelmed and then I end up feeling guilty because I want to go out on a date, or I want some couple time together. There has definitely been a financial aspect involved, and while I have assisted him alot, he has also assisted me financially more than any other person I have been with...even people that made 3x what he makes.

I also have some insecurities, to be honest, and the lack of our acting like couples kind of just makes those insecurities worse. I know he loves me and I don't doubt that. I do worry that he may love me, but not be IN love with me. I also worry that we seem to be moving away from coupledom, to friends that really love each other.

It is hard because my heart and mind understands what he is going through, and I really worry about the amount of stress that is. And my emotions are wanting to do gf/bf stuff. Sometimes my emotions don't want to do some errand to help him get to some place and yet, I find myself offering to help a lot. I also find that sometimes I feel ok with helping, and sometimes I feel really irritable because I just feel like I am giving and giving and giving. Then I end up feeling bad because I know he is stressed and it worries me how much stress he is under. I also feel that because of everything, we are in this routine and rut. So, then there is the worry about him getting bored, etc. I also, do worry, that once he is back on his feet, that he may decide he doesn't want to be together anymore. Sigh.