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Looking back to the here and now

November 23rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm

So, things have been odd lately. I have been doing a lot of introspection and contemplation.

Things have been difficult this month, and my friends and family have been helping me out and I really appreciate it. I really dislike having to ask for help, and I dislike even more that I have not stuck to my own rules about budgeting and buying enough food at the beginning of the month. I find myself now trying to figure out how much I have to put towards a thanksgiving dinner, and what food to buy for the days in between thanksgiving and when I get paid again. Sigh.

I have had some discussions with my boyfriend, and I realize that I just have to remain firm about what I need and when. He has been helping me out, but because of budgeting issues, he gives me money later in the month, or he is giving me money in the beginning of the month, not realizing that it is really for something that didn't get paid in the previous month. Sigh. So, we are having to work on that. I do realize that if it weren't for him helping me, I would not have food money.

It is hard looking at where I was financially not too long ago, and where I am now. On one front, my bills are going down and a major bill will be paid off this year. woo hoo! On the other front, money is super tight, I worry alot about what to buy to feed me and my bf, and I am behind on doing some routine maintenance stuff (for both myself and in general). It is also hard at times hearing people talk about the things they are going to buy during the holiday shopping season. I am going to just stay home on that day. It is also hard hearing from friends them say one thing about finances, but living a different lifestyle. I helped a friend out and I thought they were having more financial problems, but it turns out they weren't, as they were discussing their discretionary spending and what they want to buy.

I think, that since bf gets paid soon, I will let him know that I need help and for him to bring food for us until payday. I feel like I am just getting really stressed about it.

I am just going to focus on trying to do things to make myself happy, such as relaxing, redecorating, hobbies, etc. And I am going to focus on sticking to my budget more strictly.

4 Responses to “Looking back to the here and now”

  1. miz pat Says:

    Its very hard to feel like you must depend on another person. I think you are showing diplomacy and kindness but spelling out your needs as well, which shows maturity and wisdom.

    I am going out to eat with a friend for a $10 thanksgiving meal at a restaurant I'm not sure of. She needed the company. The rest of the day, I'm going to play world of warcraft, read, and maybe make rolls. You take care. Its not the meal, its the love, and I think you have a ton of that.

    Miz Pat

  2. thebestmeicanbe Says:

    Thank you so much, Miz Pat. Your comments mean a lot to me and they always make me smile and feel like someone out there understands how I see things. Smile
    Have a great thanksgiving! Many blessings to you and your family. Smile

  3. whitestripe Says:

    atleast you know there is one other person not running about buying gifts for everyone: me.
    DF and I aren't doing much for christmas, not to mention not buying anything at all. we have each other, and if we need something we will eventually buy it, there is no need to go out and spend money on things we will probably get bored of or not use. there is a bigger picture and that is what we are focusing on. plus, i kind of think christmas gift-giving is really for kids. aren't we meant to grow up and go 'ok - don't need to do that now'. it's nice seeing a five year old get excited unwrapping a present, but really, when you're an adult it's not really neccesary is it?

    that's my 2 cents.

  4. miz pat Says:

    You make me smile a lot too. I feel like you have been in the same situations I have been, too.

    Have a marvelous day and a better season to come.

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