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Money and my perspectives

January 10th, 2010 at 09:04 pm

So, I have been feeling a lot better about money in the new year. I told myself that I did not want to go thru that level of stress and worry about money that I did last year. And, what I did differently this year, was that I bought a good amount of food at the beginning of the month so that even if I was broke, I would not be without food, nor having to eat super unhealthy things. I am also doing better at eating what I have at home, and trying to avoid my cravings to buy food and drink outside.

I paid off a large bill last year, and this year I will have another large bill paid off, which will let me have more disposalbe cash--or really, cash i can put towards improving my diet and to put towards my savings. I have been working really hard at a very good job, and yet, because of bad money management, I am not fully able to enjoy the fruit of my labors because so much of my income goes to paying off debt.

I am dealing with where I am in my life right now, and where I want to be. I am also meeting more people from long ago who make me feel a bit more behind than i really am---they seem super professional and successful and they are starting families and all of that. And, well, as for me, I am feeling a bit stuck. I am worried about getting married, getting the home that I want, having kids, being a happy mom making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, etc. I know that if I look at where I have come from, most people from my background would have had multiple kids by now, very little education, etc. I am blessed to have had the opportunities that I have and the experiences that I have had. But when I see other people like me who went on a different path, and yet still are happy and raising kids, etc., it makes me wonder a lot. Did I work too much? Did I not focus on myself--on being the person I need to be, while focusing on making money (that was useful, but eventually spent).

I have been feeling a bit conflicted about this and just trying to sort everything out. I had an experience this weekend where I got to see something like a dream home. I didn't know who the owners were, but I imagined them to be rich. The place was so relaxing and inviting, though a bit sparse. It made me have something to look forward to in my life. I worry about being able to make that dream come true, ya know?

4 Responses to “Money and my perspectives”

  1. miz pat Says:

    Dreams are good stuff. Don't give them up. That said, please don't wait to be happy though. If we base our happiness on a future event, weare basing it on something external. The whole lot of us are people who are capable to holding off and waiting till we have enough saved for something we want. Don't do that with happiness. See happiness now, even as you work toward goals and dreams.

    I say this only because I'm learning to do this myself and I'm 54 years old. Don't fall into the trap I did.

    You are an exceptional person and you deserve to take joy now, with or without the house, hubby and kids.

    Take care.

  2. bestmeicanbe Says:

    Hi Miz Pat,

    Thank you so much for your kind words! They mean a lot to me. Smile I am working on the happiness part. Right now, I am trying to destress and take it easy. I am also trying to create a better living space so I am relaxed when I come home, versus stressed about the mess and whatnot. Smile
    You are a very kind person, and I really appreciate your words. You remind me a lot of a relative that I have who is very kind and helpful and understands that even though I am a grown woman in her 30s, I am still developing and maturing. I hope that is normal! Ha! Smile

  3. baselle Says:

    Second what miz pat says, but also:

    Remember that things are seldom what they seem. The owners of the dream house might not be rich, not really able to afford it and keeping up a front. It could well be that they are spending many sleepless nights in the dream bedroom and would be envious of a person who has their finances under control.

  4. miz pat Says:

    Yeah, or they may beating the crap out of each other, and presenting a good face to their neighbors. Or they may feel stuck in a marriage and helpless. You never know what is going inside.

    And we are always developing. Life is not static, and neither is personal growth. I'm 54 and still growing as a person.

    And I know that you are one of the special ones, who appreciates what she has, and actually thinks about things instead of just going with the crowd. That is exceptional.

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