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An update on Love

January 27th, 2010 at 04:43 pm

So, I am feeling ok as far as my budget goes. My bf and I had a good talk, and we discussed that he feels that I worry about him too much and he wants me to focus more on myself. I do realize that how I was acting was coming across as too motherly at times. I don't really know how to fix that, as I feel like I have always been taking care of someone for a large chunk of my life. And it is true that there have been times when I worried more about what he was eating (because of the type of work he does) than what I was eating. Of course, when we would argue, I would bring it up and he would be upset because he didn't know that was happening.

So, as my bf and I were talking I did say that I understand that I come across too motherly at times, and he said that he didn't like that. So, I am going to stop doing that so much. I am trying to find a balance between being caring, and being apathetic. If I see he is hungry, I am not going to be ambivalent about it. But, I could probably just ask him once only if he is hungry and leave it at that.

He wants me to focus on making sure that I am ok, and he wants to help me out financially when he gets his tax refund.

We are scheduling a date night soon, and I am really looking forward to that.

I have been focusing on just getting things that make me happy lately, and not thinking of trying to buy food that he prefers, etc. He is a good guy, and I realize that we both have to work on issues that we have in our relationship.

I am feeling good about money for February, as I was able to bring in extra hours this month. So, I am thinking that will bring in another $285 or so bucks. Woo hoo! Smile I am also considering changing my car insurance, but the problem is that if they ask for a large first payment (sometimes as much as $600 bucks!), then I cannot afford it and I will just stay with my current carrier.

I want to thank all of you for all of your support and advice. It does help me to think about things. Smile

4 Responses to “An update on Love”

  1. momcents Says:

    I'm glad that you and your BF had a conversation to clear the air. I know that before attending a Financial Freedom Seminar I always felt that my DH didn't need to worry about the day-to-day constraints of the budget, and that he sometimes expected me to be able to have $ magically appear for whatever expense was coming up (like tuck pointing part of the chimney, having the gutters cleaned, etc). I was left feeling like "Where do you think the money is going?" (We have five kids in Catholic school and involved in tons of activities, everything costs an arm and a leg).

    After this seminar, we are finally on the same page. Most of what I assumed about his thinking was incorrect. He's a Financial Analyst for a big company and deals with budgets of millions of dollars. He was simply tired of money and numbers. He's a big picture sort of guy. Now I understand where his thinking is/was and he has a better idea of where I was coming from.

    We do meet monthly for our *M* Money Summit (*M* is for our last name). I also think if you have a menu plan and shop together some of the other burdens you carry will be shared.

  2. ladymiller Says:

    I so enjoyed your post. I think I am too motherly to a certain person just as you mentioned!! I have been trying to deal with that. You sound like such a nice person and I always enjoy reading your posts.

  3. miz pat Says:

    Just remember, that being motherly is also part of being you. So make sure he understands that is part of you too. Don't change your base self for him. On the other hand, don't be codependent with him either. Take care of your self and be happy with yourself. Aiii - a life time job.

    I enjoy everyone's posts here, but I look for yours daily. You are truly special.

  4. baselle Says:

    I think I'd salt that $285 into savings. It feels, from your writing, that you are often at the edge. You need a little bit of savings to get you away from the edge. Its easy enough to find a critical need for the money, but at this moment, you are the critical need. Smile

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