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Keeping up with the Joneses

May 3rd, 2010 at 09:34 pm

I am so very thankful for my part-time job. It has helped me sooooo very much. I have been able to buy healthier food (and the recent weight loss is a reflection of that), and have been able to stress a bit less about my budget.

It feels good being able to buy the things I need, and even some of the things I want, and not have to worry all the time about my budget. The amount of stress about making ends meet is not good, I feel, and I wonder how many families have had ill health simply because of the lack of money and of being in poverty.

Even with my added income, my views about saving money and just trying to have a fair chance at life have not changed. At times, I get so tired and frustrated because I see so many people around me really struggling to make ends meet, working very hard, and yet, I see another whole large group being so dismissive of that, with broad statements about just not having enough drive, or being lazy, etc. I get so tired of always having to try to explain to those who may not have the same background, about why some of us grow up in poverty, work two jobs, etc. It can be irritating when they have comments that I just cannot relate to, and that seem out of touch with what everyone is dealing with in this economy.

Where I live, there is a large growing group that is sort of oblivious to the issue of accomplishing certain things in life. It is hard because the group is really focused on making a lot of improvements and changes and they seem so positive on the outside and some of their goals are really good on the surface. I just get weary because it is sort of like a family that focuses on having the nicest furniture, but sweeps the dust under the rug. The growing group wants a lot of change and some of that I agree with, but it seems like those that are really in need are being totally ignored. It makes me weary at times because I just feel like I don't have the energy to deal with it all at times.

The ex situation is the same. It is odd at times because there have been times when I could have used a bit of financial help, and I wanted to ask him, but I didn't want to be a burden on him, so I didn't. But, my that was not wanting to bother him was one of our biggest problems---he wanted me to ask for more help. However, when I asked recently and I got frustrated about a situation, he got stressed a bit and snapped. So, he says he wants me to come to him when I need help, but I also know he is under a lot of stress. How does one ask for help, yet not be another stress-er on a person? Also, I feel weird asking for help if it is because of bad budgeting on my part. Because my ex makes less than I do, and is still dealing with the family stuff, my asking for 20 bucks could be a larger part of his budget than it would be in mine. We haven't seen each other since the split, so, yeah, that is also hard at times.

I have been using the extra money to make improvements around my home and I really, really like that. It makes me happy to be able to buy the little things that make me feel more relaxed. Just focusing on myself and my home has been helping me a lot. I have been trying to ignore the other little things that people do that can sap a lot of my positive energy. When someone over me is so happy when talking to someone, but tight lipped when they talk to me, I just try and ignore it and accept that it is their issue and not mine, and all I can do is just keep working on myself. I have learned that when I speak with a certain person, they will always make some of sort comment or re-state how I said something wrong or how what I believe isn't true, according to them. I realize that this is an issue they have, and doesn't have anything to do with me, when you look at how they act as a whole. It can be frustrating, though, when I am just trying to say something nice, and they tell me it is wrong...of course they always say it with a smile. Wink

I am also using my extra money to pay for needed repairs and bills and the like. My goal is to put part of it aside for savings, as the work comes and goes, and I am not sure when I can get a part-time job again. I want to stop using my cc as well, and build up my available credit. That has been hard lately, but mainly because I need to be better about my budgeting.

I am just trying to relax and focus on being better and being happy. I want to refocus on those things that I want to accomplish in my life.

2 Responses to “Keeping up with the Joneses”

  1. dtjunkie Says:

    I think you articulated very well how most people really feel. It just seems like nothing is enough. The other day I parked next to a street sign that read "NO Stopping Anytime" in big red letters. I just thought it was a perfect sign for what most people go through.
    I too prefer to stay genuinely happy despite it all. Smile

  2. Jerry Says:

    I think you are correct, a lot of people feel that way and it can lead them to life dissatisfaction in the long run. What a tragedy! The best insurance for happiness is to be able to feel comfortable with yourself, and not constantly try to compare yourself with others in a negative light. Good luck with everything...
    Jerry

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