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The Big Picture

November 27th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

So, Thanksgiving was a really good day. I had good food, and spent time with my family and loved ones. And yet, though I should be happy, I found myself slightly upset and losing sight of the big picture.

I felt weird because I was hoping that my relatives would send me home with some leftovers, but, no one went home with any. I was thinking of the food I had made at home, and how much food would last me and my bf until payday. There was also the usual family stuff, so that is probably why I am irritable.

I was able to get food from a friend, and I am happy about that. Today, was really hard, though. People were rushing to and fro for big screen tvs and sales and whatnot. I chose not to participate in it. It made me a bit anti-consumerism. In reality, if I had money, I might be doing the same thing they are.....because I am broke at the moment, it just sort of irritated me. I really can't be upset at anyone but myself for being broke. There isn't anything I really should be buying in a store, except for necessities and food and things.

Today I find myself just irritated and thinking of how I am changing my spending habits. I think back at all the silly stuff I bought years and years ago....magazines, expensive lattes and frappuccinos, clothes, etc. I never bought big ticket items, just small stuff that wasn't really worth much, just wasting money. Did I really need to buy magazines?

This experience of being broke is very uncomfortable, but ultimately helpful in many ways. Though I am irritated, I know that so many other people have it much worse than I do. I am blessed to have food and a roof over my head and clothes on my back. I have it pretty good, I just have to get over being angry at myself because being broke sort of sucks, but, I am doing ok.



4 Responses to “The Big Picture”

  1. LuxLiving Says:

    Have you ever read "Your Money or Your Life"? It talks a lot about getting good value for the life energy you are exchanging your dollars for when you buy somewhat transitory stuff like magazines. Try borrowing it for free from a public library. It might help you the same way it did me - making the transition a bit easier to someone who is in charge of my money, instead of the money being in charge of me.

  2. ralph Says:

    I feel your pain - it stinks being in a straightjacket of debt and having no disposable income, but as long as I have the basics I am fine. I think magazines are getting a bum rap here - after all, they are pretty cheap! When I think back at what our mountain of debt consists of, it's mostly clothes, gifts, swim and dance lessons, vacations, and now college. So that was all mostly for our kids. Kids ain't cheap!

  3. LuxLiving Says:

    Well, you can also look at the magz there for free when you stop by the library! I like magz too, I just don't include them in my budget anymore.

  4. wowitsawonderfullife Says:

    I guess it might help to look at the flip side of your day. You had food - and plenty of people are going hungry; you had family, and lots of us don't; and you were able to contribute to a meal. Be gentle with yourself and take a minute to count your blessings. You have lots of friends here. Aren't we truly blessed? We are so hard on ourselves!

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