So, Thanksgiving was a really good day. I had good food, and spent time with my family and loved ones. And yet, though I should be happy, I found myself slightly upset and losing sight of the big picture.
I felt weird because I was hoping that my relatives would send me home with some leftovers, but, no one went home with any. I was thinking of the food I had made at home, and how much food would last me and my bf until payday. There was also the usual family stuff, so that is probably why I am irritable.
I was able to get food from a friend, and I am happy about that. Today, was really hard, though. People were rushing to and fro for big screen tvs and sales and whatnot. I chose not to participate in it. It made me a bit anti-consumerism. In reality, if I had money, I might be doing the same thing they are.....because I am broke at the moment, it just sort of irritated me. I really can't be upset at anyone but myself for being broke. There isn't anything I really should be buying in a store, except for necessities and food and things.
Today I find myself just irritated and thinking of how I am changing my spending habits. I think back at all the silly stuff I bought years and years ago....magazines, expensive lattes and frappuccinos, clothes, etc. I never bought big ticket items, just small stuff that wasn't really worth much, just wasting money. Did I really need to buy magazines?
This experience of being broke is very uncomfortable, but ultimately helpful in many ways. Though I am irritated, I know that so many other people have it much worse than I do. I am blessed to have food and a roof over my head and clothes on my back. I have it pretty good, I just have to get over being angry at myself because being broke sort of sucks, but, I am doing ok.
The Big Picture
November 27th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
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