So, I find myself relaxing at home on a Friday night, watching HGTVs Property Virgins, and getting a little misty eyed.

I do agree with a lot of advice I have received on here.....I can make a budget that is full of veggies---I just have to make my palate stop craving the card heavy foods I am so used to having. Once I get more money for food, I plan on heading for some yummy, crunchy veggies and chicken.

The tv show is making me long for my own home one day when I have a family. I worry about that happening...my goal is to have my own home by age 40...so I have got some years ahead of me to improve my credit and save up.

Seeing the couples on the show being able to talk about money and what they want and what they are able to pay per month got me a little misty eyed----not very, but it made me have a bit of worries. I don't think my bf is ready for that kind of thing, and it is hard for me to talk about my house dreams when he is trying to get back on his feet.

I am paying down debt and I know that in a little over 2 years, I will have paid off all (or most of) my debt, so I just need to be patient. It is somewhat hard at times to not worry about things, such as just having a regular life, owning my own home, having babies, a minivan, that kinda thing.

My bf got paid so I want to talk to him asap about the budget. I kept trying to hint to him what we are eating for dinner....as a way of saying "Hey, it isn't that much", but, I don't think he knew what I was saying. He often won't discuss his budget for a day or two after he gets paid, and I need him to be able to discuss it asap. I am almost running out of toiletries and I need to buy some asap, but the checking account has less than 10 bucks in it.

I do realize that if me and my bf were to ever decide to buy our own home, this whole waiting on the budget thing just wouldn't do. I would need things to be very organized and scheduled.

I looked in the freezer and I have some protein and some veggies....not sure if I have enough to last two weeks, but definitely enough to last a week...for sure.

My relative wants to give me money to be able to afford the expense of when I go visit them. I feel odd about accepting that, and I don't want to, even though I do end up spending usually around $20 bucks at least when I visit (on gas and toll and welcome stuff and beverages and food).

Me and my bf are supposed to clean tomorrow, so I am looking forward to that. The design concepts on tv really empower me to think positively about managing my issue with trying to keep things that are old and I no longer use. I know that it doesn't make sense, but I think I have a hard time letting things go, because when I was younger my family lost over half of our possessions when we became homeless. I know that keeping a plastic cup is weird, but I keep thinking that I may need it later. I am really working on that, and have come a long way in being able to discard more things than previously.

I saw someone today that I know and I noticed that while their clothes were clean, it looked like there were some set in stains in the clothing. I realized that it gave them a certain look, and I realize that I have to change that myself. I am kicking myself because over a year ago I could whip out my cc and get some much needed blouses, now I am trying to just figure out how to buy some food I have a craving for. I also realize that I am nowhere near starving...I do have savings I could use if I so choose or if I were truly hungry. I am going to try as best as possible to avoid doing that. I am also going to tell my bf how much money is left over for food, and see if he would be willing to give more than I previously asked him for.