I am feeling very odd right now.
I am both sad, but not boo-hooing like crazy. I am frightened that I may not find another person who accepts me like my boyfriend has (oh my, do I have a lot of flaws!), and also I feel like maybe I knew for a while that I am maybe not the best person for him (and vice versa).
He recently contacted me and said that he is going to move in with his mom. I let him know that I still care for him, and want to be supportive during these times, but that I must have respect in my relationships. We are supposed to talk about this later....not sure when, though.
He will move his stuff today or tomorrow.
I feel very sad cause I dislike stressing him out this much and I know that sleeping on the couch at his mom's is not where he really wants to be. I also feel like he knew that I felt uncomfortable him talking to this girl that he has flirted with, especially since she really does like him, and the fact that he initiated contact with her has really made me wonder about how much I can trust him.
Is it right to feel sad about his situation? Am I being too much of the proverbial push over? Am I ignoring my own feelings? I feel like I cannot just turn off my heart, and yet, I am aware of the possibility that while he encourages me to be the best I can be, I am not really sure that I do the same of him. I appreciate his sense of being a more go with the flow person, but I can't say that he appreciates my desire for organization and planning, etc.
Sad, and yet....
August 18th, 2009 at 09:59 pm
August 18th, 2009 at 11:37 pm 1250638652
August 19th, 2009 at 12:56 am 1250643405
However, speaking as an outsider who only reads blog entries, I am not sure why you would be particularly sensitive to whatever his feelings may be even though he is the one who is being "emotionally unfaithful"?
Clearly, his desire to move out is a sign that he needs some space. How long this space may be, I don't know. But if that's what he needs, then please give that to him.
In the meantime though, I hope that the space will also help you clear your head about what's going on and perhaps allow you to prepare for the possibility of this relationship not working out. Again, I am not saying that it won't, only that if it doesn't, at least you'll be somewhat prepared for it?
I for one hope that things will work out, but I also hope that you will find a way to cope with your fear of loss first. Regardless of what happens, you still have to take care of yourself. So... please take care.
August 19th, 2009 at 02:29 am 1250648999
August 19th, 2009 at 03:12 pm 1250694772