Yes, I put money into a verb (or would that be adverb?), as a way to espress how I view things.

I do think that for me, my emotions are strongly tied to how my finances are. If my finances are in a tizzy, then my emotions usually are. If my finances are good (meaning I have a decent emergency savings, and can pay my bills each month), then I tend to be a much calmer person.

I think that what is going on right now is trying to just deal with this level of unease and uncomfortableness. I realize that I am sounding a bit like a spoiled brat when I say I am "uncomfortable", when in our country, and our world, people don't have enough food to eat or clothes to wear, so I realize I am being a bit arrogant when I am upset that I may have to eat beans a few times a week, or wear older clothes. Sigh, I think being a city girl has spoiled me a bit.

I realize that I am relatively pretty, all things considered. I also realize that I am just having an exercise rut at the moment, and I know for me, the first step in feeling better is altering my diet. Once I master my diet, so to speak, then my exercise gets in line. I am a bit bummed because it has been hard to eat the way I want to, and still stay within my budget.

I know that with everything that is going on, if I am not working a 2nd job, then really, I should be using my time taking a walk, getting rid of clutter, and exercising. I also know that when I get home, I feel so tense that my back often hurts and all I want to do is lay down...which probably isn't a good thing.

I joked with a friend, and we both agreed that the way our heads work, in terms of how we were raised to....relate to money, that when our money is funny, we are not the most cheerful people. I know I would be sooooo much happier if I had a bigger emergency savings, even if it meant still having the same amount of debt. It has something to do with my feelings of security and safety and being able to take care of myself. And yeah, I think I got into a pattern of buying things to cheer me up....so take away some usually comforting items, and I have got the grrrrsss....You add to these fillings the issues with my bf, the issues with having a reduced paycheck, and just overall stress, and I may be moaning and whining a bit more than is necessary.

In reality, being poorer may help me to eat better. Since I cannot shop or go to movies or things that involve buying stuff, then I should use that time to take walks for free, and to clean my apartment.