So it is one of those days when I am feeling....tired at the start of my day and unable to focus.

My money situation should be okay until I get paid--not taking into account the $150 or so I am already short. I still have to be careful, as I only have about $15 of wiggle room in my budget for food stuffs...which is hard, because it is one of those days where I feel like I am in pig out mode. It is a combination of 1) hormones and 2) stress, and voila! I am craving the dollar menu at my local fast food place. I am upset about these cravings as I told myself I would avoid eating there and certain types of food, but, I dunno....the craving got strong last week, and I ended up eating fast food while driving home.

I can't wait to get home and just chill out---I made dinner last night that should last a good two days of meals, if my bf comes over. I washed most of my dishes, so I don't have to worry about having to do that. I think I will just focus on relaxing, journaling, and doing some pampering things like a nice hot bubble bath, home facial, and that type of thing. I may even paint my toenails!

I realize that my appearance has gone downhill quite a bit....it is one of those things where I have good intentions, and then voila! I notice a hole in my clothes that I didn't see while getting dressed, and it ends up making me feel like a complete shlump.

My friend is having another baby and I am very happy for her. It does sometimes make me wonder when I will get my act together so that I can have my own kids.

My bf and I are having some difficulties, but I am acknowleging that much of it may just be due to the situation, and that he is under a lot of stress. So, he sometimes seems very short or irritated by me. Sigh.

I do sometimes feel sad when I see people on the street who seem...well, so happy. I feel like I need to get back that part of me. I know I have so many opportunities that other people haven't had, and yet sometimes, silly as it may be, I sometimes wish I could do things all over again and make better choices. I wish I could have worked harder in school. I wish I could have gotten my weight problems under control years ago. I wish I could have saved more money when I was working the extra job. I know it doesn't help me to feel that way, I am just expressing how I have been feeling lately.

Today I plan on just going home and chilling out. I think I will even make myself do some much needed reading....why do I avoid it when it always brings me such joy?