This weekend I was driving, and stopped at a local store, and I saw a homeless person sleeping in a doorway, trying to pull up the covers to keep himself warm. It was so sad to see, also the doorway was super brightly lit, and I just felt so sorry for them. I couldn't even imagine how cold they were, or trying to sleep under such a bright light.

Today, I was by the local bus station and it was so sad. Why are bus stations always so......dirty? It was so dirty, and I felt so bad for the people who were using the benches to sleep on.

These times, (although I have been fearful of this even before the recession), have made my fears a bit more intense. I think it is only because I have been through it before, so for me, I think I see it as a reality for any person, more than the average person who may not have experienced what it is like to eat at a soup kitchen, or make your bed on the top of a coffee table.

I know that being fearful isn't good for the soul, and rather than waste energy worrying about things that may not happen, all I can do is do whatever possible to prevent such a situation and have faith that I will be ok.

I still find myself beating myself up for some foolish spending decisions made in the past. So, I tell myself that when I have paid off more debt, and am able to, I want to save money every month, so that when I go into the next month, I am going in with money, and not in the red from the previous month.

My bf and I talked, and he is going to help me with my bills for this month. I told him the exact amount that I needed, and we made an agreement. He let me know when he gets paid, and the exact amount he can give me per paycheck. That helped to relax me quite a bit.

I have been writing down my purchases so I can keep track of my budget. I am also trying to stick to buying things that I only need (with the exception being my weakness for tea and whatnot).

I realize that I was looking a bit disheveled before my budget problems, and I don't have to let my budget affect my appearance. So, I will be making more time for the self-indulgent things that make a girl feel pretty.