So, today I felt my heart rate increasing, and well, I was just in a place mentally of being frustrated and upset, and needing to vent. I did that whole writing it out thing, but talked to someone about how I was feeling. They helped me to see a different perspective, and I opted to wait a bit before discussing the issue again. And well, that person came to me and we discussed it and it was a very good talk. I felt much better about the talk. Still a bit upset at the issue in general, but I am hoping that my heart rate will chill out about it.

My bf has been really nice the past few days (of course he is nice always). I told him what had happened and how I was feeling and he was very concerned and came across as very protective. I really liked that, I must admit. I think I am the person who usually tries to protect others.

I am still yearning for pay day so I can buy some of the food that I want, but I am not worried about being able to feed myself or anything like that. I do feel a bit odd because I have a friend who is having an event, and I want to go to be supportive, but if I have to pay for parking, that is going to be very difficult. I also will probably not have anything except for water, as I am not in the position to be buying 8 dollar drinks.

I am really happy that I have a bit of extra money to put towards my bills next month. Of course I am already short for my bills next month, but with the extra money, and maybe some money from my bf, I should be ok.

This has been a semi-rough week that has left me so eager to get home most days than not, so I am hoping that I can really relax and take it easy this weekend.

I want to as always, thank so many of you for your comments. They make me feel very special. I feel like I can be open about how I am feeling. the whole process with my bf made me realize I needed to be more open about both my faults, and things in our relationship that we needed to work on. Also, when it comes to money, I can't talk to friends about my insecurities because, well, maybe I feel ashamed about it. I also feel that they may not be able to really understand.

I am looking forward to sticking to my goals next month of avoiding using any of my credit cards to pay for necessities. I am also going to focus on trying to buy only what is necessary first, and then, if there is money left over, that can be used for more fun items.