With the part-time job, and help from my ex, and being solo, and cutting out many types of more expensive food, I find myself having the luxury of buying food that is so much healthier!
I found myself strolling down the supermarket aisles yesterday in a euphoric fog. I wasn't able to go crazy and buy all organic, but I was able to buy food in varieties I just can't find at my neighborhood stores.
Part of me gets upset that when I go to the budget supermarket (where I was thisclose to buying their meat because it was cheap--even though everyone warned me not to) and there are so many people and families (lots of families---more families, I feel, than what I saw at the nicer store)who have to shop there, they don't have the selection of healthy foods. Rather, they have rotting produce and at times its price isn't cheaper than other places.
I realize that yes, healthy, diet-specific food is a luxury for me now. I also feel like people should have access to these wonderful foods that come from the earth rather than having to spend their dollars on a higher caloric, but unhealthier, food option. We really need to change the food availability in our country and around the world. Yes, I am one of those people who is disappointed when they travel somewhere, and see the usual fast-food logo beckoning new consumers. Sigh.
I also find that I have been putting more effort into me. That means my clothes, my hair, etc. It is a good feeling.
Not sure about my relationship. He is still very kind to me, but we haven't talked much or spent much time together. Sometimes I get sadder in the evening, or when driving, but I try to just not think about it, or cry it out and focus on other stuff.
I have been trying to just smile and keep my head up in other areas. It is frustrating because I worked so hard at being friendly and nice, and I still see others getting preferential treatment. It is hard because I know that so much of it really isn't about ability, but more about friendship and relationships and things that should not be a factor, but are. Sigh.
My goal for this month is to NOT use my credit cards like I have been doing. I want to start rebuilding up my available credit on one of my cards so that if I ever did really need to use it, I would have that available credit, well, available. I do not like that I have had to use it for basics like food and gas. Not cool.
I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my thoughts. Now, because I am solo, and how things are in other areas that I am, I often don't really have many people to talk to. I feel like I can express my thoughts on here, and I get so much good advice and understanding, and I really appreciate that. 
The Luxury of food
March 2nd, 2010 at 03:37 am
March 2nd, 2010 at 03:53 am 1267502012
I'm happy you're treating yourself well: love yourself, let it show and others will love you too.
March 2nd, 2010 at 05:40 am 1267508404
March 2nd, 2010 at 08:24 am 1267518290
March 2nd, 2010 at 01:37 pm 1267537068
Using the CC for essentials really is not cool. I had to do that for a while, and I'm still paying for it...
Final note, I've found that when you finally are flying solo that it is nice to give so much attention to yourself. It baffles me how little I do this within my own relationship even now (and it's something that I'm consciously working on!) Enjoy it. And enjoy your healthy food as well. Food is a category that I also tend to allow myself to float into the "luxury" realm with... and it really is just that. As you mentioned, when there are people all over the world-- and just in our country-- that cant afford the healthier options, it really opens your eyes.
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:15 pm 1267568156
On the other hand, you sound a little less stressed and that's a good thing.
Sometimes its hard to find someone who you can honestly call a peer. I have friends who care about me, but we don't like all the same things. Sometimes I feel alone, although now i feel more complete about myself.
I am trying hard not to define myself by relationship (divorced/single/married). And I'm trying to not define myself by money or lack thereof.
I like that you have more money for better quality food. Take care !!! Blessings